God, Is This Relationship from You or Just My Attachment Style?
When Familiar Doesn’t Mean Healthy
Sometimes we’re not praying for clarity— we’re praying that God will co-sign what we’re already afraid to lose.
And when you’ve learned love through inconsistency, chaos can feel like chemistry. The silence between texts? It’s not romantic tension, it’s nervous system dysregulation. But if that’s what love looked like growing up—hot and cold, unpredictable—then your body will label that discomfort as familiar, and your brain might even call it love.
Attachment Patterns in Disguise
That’s how we get stuck in cycles. Overgiving. Overthinking. Overexplaining. Hoping that if we just do more, say more, love harder, the other person will finally become who we need. Or maybe you swing the other way and shut down before anyone gets too close, convincing yourself you’re fine alone when really—you’re just scared. Both are just different ways of trying to stay safe.
What Peace Really Feels Like
So how do you know if it’s from God? A relationship rooted in Him won’t feel like emotional whiplash. It won’t keep you guessing. It won’t require you to disappear in order to be chosen. God doesn’t ask you to earn what He freely gives—and He certainly won’t send someone who keeps you questioning your worth.
There’s a difference between being challenged and being emotionally exhausted. Between growing with someone and constantly working to survive the relationship. Confusion, inconsistency, and anxiety aren’t markers of divine alignment, they’re signs of emotional habits playing out. Naming that pattern doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re waking up.
What You Can Start Paying Attention To
If you’re sitting in the tension, between what you prayed for and what’s actually happening, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to sort through it in your head on repeat.
Here are 2 things that can help:
Pause and pay attention to your body. If you feel anxious more than you feel safe, that’s data. God’s presence often comes with peace, not pressure.
Ask different questions. Instead of just asking, "God, is this Your will?" try asking, "What is this relationship pulling out of me? Who am I becoming in it?"
God Is Not the Author of Confusion
God leads with truth, not confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33). And love, the real kind, won’t make you chase, beg, or shrink.
If you’ve been stuck wondering, "Is this really from God or just me repeating old habits?"—I see you. If you’re ready to make sense of your patterns and finally get clear, book a free consult. Let’s talk.
